Hi people,
There are so many of us who have a lot bottled up inside. We can't share it with people because we all know how people can be..... they hear it and then turn you to an object of ridicule.
Here is the place to do it. Just click on comment and do it annonymously and am sure if i don't have a suggestion then someone else might. A problem shared is a problem half solved. You feel lighter when you don't bottle it up inside.
It feels like you have being reading my mind. I have been looking for someone to discuss this with. My girlfriend of 2yrs recently got pregnant and we have decided to marry eachother. I love her so much but whenever we have misunderstandings and she is wrong, she always chooses nt to apologise. She doesn't like us to talk about it when she is wrong instead she would prefer us to move on and act like nothing happened. This has really been on my mind especially now that she is pregnant. I don't want to get married with this situation. I don't know what to do.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteAm so sorry to hear how you feel. My advise would be to let her read what you actually wrote up here. Well, she won't talk about it....i guess she can read about it. That way she is aware of exactly how you feel.
Dialogue is the most important thing that helps a relationship. If you are not able to disagree to agree then your marriage might face alot of hiccups. Before you both proceed to the altar, try to have a heart2heart talk, if she won't listen then write your thoughts in a letter and let her know you won't feel too comfortable getting married without resolving this issue. Am sure she will come around. All the best.
Hello Tenny , i truly like your blog and i would recommend to both single and married people.
ReplyDeletei have been married for about three years but i still find myself chatting and talking to my exs' . we talk about just random stuff and nothing serious but my husband does not like the fact that i still keep in touch with them so i normally delete the messages i get from them and i clear the chat history just so he won't see it.is it right for me to keep my casual relationship with my exs' and just not discuss them with him ?
Hi,
DeleteThanks for the compliment. A lot of people are in the same boat as you so don't feel alone.
From my point of view, i would advise that you put an end to those chats. My reason is that your husband doesn't like it because he feels insecure about it. Moreso, you had to delete those messages (that doesn't look good), it just means you are hiding things from him. A relationship works when you are "transparent" with each other. Since your hubby is your better half then he should know all that you do. Hiding things would not help your relationship.
Talking to your exs' is not a crime....i would even say it is maturity but don't turn it to an habit. Only talk to them when there is a need for it. Do not turn them to your buddies, 'cos they are not - their chapters were closed a long time ago. If you are bored, chat with your hubby....if he isn't in the habbit of chatting encourage him to. Your hubby is your new best friend. Enjoy your relationship.
Hello thank God I stumble upon your blog, pls advise me. I am trying hard to keep a distant relationship with my girl friend going. I work in Lagos and she stays in Kano. We ve not been together for almost a year now this is giving me concern emotionally
ReplyDeleteI understand you so well because i was once in your shoes. My hubby was in Canada and i was in Nigeria for like 2 years. It was a little difficult but we worked around it.
DeleteWe were in constant communication through phone calls, text messages and yahoo messenger (Thank God for internet). We would also try as much to see each other even if it was once a year.
Trust is very important. You have to trust each other, tell each other everything that is going on with you in your different abodes. When you get the chance to visit her in Kano or she visits you in Lagos.... Make it a worthwhile trip, spend time together: knowing each other more, talking about everything, going places together....Make it a vacation you both would keep looking forward to.
The last but not the least is that you both have to work on moving closer to each other. In life, you have to sacrifice. Either she moves to Lagos or you move to Kano whichever way that works for you both would be perfect. You can't stay apart for too long if you want to make a future out of your relationship.
All the best.
God!!! I need help!!!
ReplyDeleteAnything you want to share?
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